I was so ugly when I was born the doctor slapped my mother.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
- Thread starter ivoralljack
- Start date
Puritanism - The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Where there's a will there's a lawsuit.
A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished. Zsa Zsa Gabor
There are still some parts of Wales where the only concession to gaiety is a striped shroud.
Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy, fat women.
To Laurence Oliver's 5 year old daughter when she asked Noel Coward what two dogs were doing together:
The doggie in front has suddenly gone blind and the other one has very kindly offered to push him all the way to St. Dunstan's.
The doggie in front has suddenly gone blind and the other one has very kindly offered to push him all the way to St. Dunstan's.
P T Barnum:
Every crowd has a silver lining.
Every crowd has a silver lining.
I have found that the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.
The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.
Instead of the Pilgrim Fathers landing on the Plymouth Rock, the Plymouth Rock should have landed on the Pilgrim Fathers.
Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
Most of the people living in New York have come from the farm to try and make enough money to go back to the farm.
A conqueror is always a lover of peace.
Playwright Alan Bennett on Arianna Stassinopoulos:
So boring you fall asleep halfway through her name.
So boring you fall asleep halfway through her name.
There is nothing in Socialism that a little age or a little money will not cure.
Dunking is bad taste but tastes good.
On a frequent first-nighter and party-goer:
Sylvia Miles would go to the opening of an envelope.
Sylvia Miles would go to the opening of an envelope.
Of a fellow female:
Her heart's in the right place - what a pity the other thirteen stone aren't.
Her heart's in the right place - what a pity the other thirteen stone aren't.
In a world without men, there would be no war - just intense negotiations every 28 days.