QUOTE OF THE DAY

[ivoralljack]

Dean Martin:

I'd hate to be a teetotaller. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's as good as you're going to feel all day.

 

[ivoralljack]

Noel Coward on an actress unable to elicit comedy from his script:

She couldn't get a laugh if she pulled a kipper out of her !#@*.

 

[ivoralljack]

A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.

 

[ivoralljack]

One of the finest women who ever walked the streets.

 

[ivoralljack]

Al Capone:

My rackets are run on strictly American lines and they're going to stay that way.

What a patriot, eh?

 

[ivoralljack]

As an aside to the last post a mate of mine told me that the name of his latest flame was Alka. Please don't tell me that her surname is Pone I begged.

 

[The Blobster]

As an aside to the last post a mate of mine told me that the name of his latest flame was Alka. Please don't tell me that her surname is Pone I begged.

.

It could just as easily have been Seltzer

 

[Behindthegoal]

Hole would be acceptable.

 

[ivoralljack]

On 'Crossroads':

The TV soap opera whose acting gives trees a bad name.

 

[ivoralljack]

If at first you don't succeed - you're fired!

 

[ivoralljack]

Old professors never die, they merely lose their faculties.

 

[ivoralljack]

Noel Coward replying to a letter starting....... from the desk of.......

Dear Desk.......

 

[ivoralljack]

Nancy Astor:

I married beneath me. All women do.

 

[ivoralljack]

The Catholic Church is for saints and sinners alone. For respectable people the Anglican Church will do. Oscar Wilde

 

[ivoralljack]

Experience is the comb Nature gives us when we are bald.

 

[ivoralljack]

A widow's epitaph for her husband:

Rest in peace - until we meet again.

 

[ivoralljack]

The difference between Los Angeles and yogurt is that yogurt has real culture.

 

[ivoralljack]

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation.

 

[ivoralljack]

Do not remove a fly from your friend's forehead with a hatchet.

 

[ivoralljack]

You ain't learnin' nothing when you're talking.