I take my only exercise acting as pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercised regularly.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
- Thread starter ivoralljack
- Start date
Lord Uxbridge to Wellington at Waterloo:
'By God! I've lost my leg!
'Have you by God?' replied Wellington who rode on.
'By God! I've lost my leg!
'Have you by God?' replied Wellington who rode on.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. A second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
Woody Allen:
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
Milk is rendered immortal in cheese.
Nearly every woman in England is competent to write an authoritative article on how not to cook cabbage.
Dr Spooner introducing a critic to an aspiring writer:
"Let me introduce you to one of England's most shining wits."
"Let me introduce you to one of England's most shining wits."
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
Never miss a chance to have sex or be on television.
Behindthegoal
Key Player
Not necessarily at the same time
Will Rogers, American humourist.
My folks didn't come over on the Mayflower but they were there to meet the boat.
My folks didn't come over on the Mayflower but they were there to meet the boat.
A penny for some people's thoughts is a fair price.
American philosopher Eric Hoffer:
Every great cause begins as a movement, becomes a business and eventually degenerates into a racket.
Every great cause begins as a movement, becomes a business and eventually degenerates into a racket.
The trouble with the legal profession is that 98% of its members give the rest a bad name.
A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job.
Yankee_Jack
Key Player
and a retired wife is a husband's nightmare
Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.
Gross ignorance - 144 times worse than ordinary ignorance.
Being poor has its advantages. One of them is that your keys are never in your other trousers.