A man says to a barber that he'd like his hair cut like Tony Curtis. "Certainly, sir," says the barber and begins snipping away whilst the man gets drowsy and eventually falls asleep. When he wakes up and looks in the mirror he's totally horrified. His head is shaven and there's untidy tufts of hair sticking out all over his head.
"Hey," shouts the man, "I asked you to cut my hair like Tony Curtis. This isn't what Tony Curtis looks like!"
"It would be if he came here," says the barber.