The Joke Thread

[CroJack]

A message to you who have my woodoo doll.



Please, stop feeding it !!!

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[CroJack]

My ex has just sent me a message.

"I'd love to see you here."

She always sends me the same message when she walks through the graveyard.

 

[CroJack]

"Something is Britain in the state of Denmark"- William Shakespeare

 

[CroJack]

Whether blame in divorce is equally balanced or not, it's rare that one person is 100 % at fault.

In most cases it's 50% - 50%.

50 % the wife, and 50 % the mother-in-law.

 

[CroJack]

The time travelers' party will be held two days ago.

 

[CroJack]

Your wife HAS TO cook for you. According to the Geneva convention every prisoner has the right to be fed.

 

[KVetch]

I wrote this joke awhile back but I don't rememebr if I've posted it:

If you give a man a fish he eats for a day, but if you give a man a starfish he eats forever, because their arms and legs grow back.

Another one I enjoy, we could all learn a thing or 2 from Steve Cooper...






but not much more than that.

 

[KVetch]

This terrible meme amuses me. Probably not PC.

 

[CroJack]

The Universe is thought to consists of four types of particles:

Electons, protons, neutrons and morons.

 

[CroJack]

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[CroJack]

Guys, I am inviting you to a dinner.

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[Jackflash]

Wife steps out of the shower and says to her husband "Honey, I've shaved myself down there, you know what that means."
"Yea" replied the husband " The drain is blocked again".

 

[CroJack]

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[Yankee_Jack]

Sounds like United's midfield

 

[CroJack]

And these guys are going to save us from the climate changes???

 

[Behindthegoal]

Nice one CJ. On the plus side, they can’t do too much damage when they’re askeep.

 

[Jackflash]

And these guys are going to save us from the climate changes???

View attachment 2202

How come we don't get pics like these in our national newspapers.

 

[Jackflash]

I was at my local supermarket getting my monthly supply of groceries, two trolleys full, as i got up to the checkout a little old lady came up behind me, she was just holding a can of beans, I said "is that all you've got" " Yes" she replied. I said "I think you'd better go and find another till, because I'm going to be ages"

 

[CroJack]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1465310038734561300

 

[CroJack]

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