Jack Lemmon, US film actor:
If you think it's hard to meet new people try picking up the wrong golf ball!
If you think it's hard to meet new people try picking up the wrong golf ball!
QUOTE OF THE DAY
- Thread starter ivoralljack
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Bill Veeck, US baseball manager:
Baseball is the only game left for people. To play basketball you have to be 7 feet 6 inches. To play football you have to be the same width.
Baseball is the only game left for people. To play basketball you have to be 7 feet 6 inches. To play football you have to be the same width.
Dick Gregory, black US comedian:
Baseball is very big with my people. It figures. It's the only way we can shake a bat at a white man without starting a riot.
Baseball is very big with my people. It figures. It's the only way we can shake a bat at a white man without starting a riot.
Daily Telegraph report on David Beckham's red card against Argentina in the 1998 World Cup:
This Gaultier-saronged, Posh Spiced, Cooled Britannia, look-at-me, what-a-lad, loadsamoney, sex-and-shopping, fame-schooled, daytime-TV, over-coiffed twerp, did not, of course, mean any harm.
This Gaultier-saronged, Posh Spiced, Cooled Britannia, look-at-me, what-a-lad, loadsamoney, sex-and-shopping, fame-schooled, daytime-TV, over-coiffed twerp, did not, of course, mean any harm.
'Yogi' Berra, famous US baseball player on being asked if he wanted his pizza cut into eight or four pieces.
Better make it four. I don't think I can eat eight.
Better make it four. I don't think I can eat eight.
George Best acceptance speech on being acclaimed Footballer of the Century in 1999:
It's a pleasure to be standing up here. Actually it's a pleasure to be standing up.
It's a pleasure to be standing up here. Actually it's a pleasure to be standing up.
Banner waved by Australian cricket fans during an Australia-England Test Match in 1978:
First the convicts, then the rabbits and now Botham.
First the convicts, then the rabbits and now Botham.
Randall 'Tex' Cobb, US heavyweight boxer and actor:
If you screw things up in tennis it's 15-love. If you screw up in boxing, it's your ass.
If you screw things up in tennis it's 15-love. If you screw up in boxing, it's your ass.
Telegram sent to Geoff Boycott after he spent many hours scoring just 50 in a test match at Perth:
You have done for Australian cricket what the Boston Strangler did for door-to-door salesmen.
You have done for Australian cricket what the Boston Strangler did for door-to-door salesmen.
Federico Garcia Lorca, Spanish poet and playwright:
Spain is the only country where death is the national spectacle.
For the record: I abhor and detest bullfighting. I believe it is a sport for cowards and sadists. The bull has no chance, having been severely weakened by mounted Picadors who thrust lances into the bull's neck before the matador emerges to wave his ass and make fancy passes with his cape before inflicting a slow and agonising death on a brave animal with a series of sword stabs. It is plain disgusting and I refused many invitations to bullfights when I lived in Spain. Those Spanish caballeros who objected to my opinion, and there were quite a few of them over the years, never had the stomach to accept when I invited them outside. You see, it was one to one, no one to help them, so the gutless cnuts weren't interested. For the record, there haven't been many, if any, Spanish world boxing champions - seems they don't like being hit back.
Spain is the only country where death is the national spectacle.
For the record: I abhor and detest bullfighting. I believe it is a sport for cowards and sadists. The bull has no chance, having been severely weakened by mounted Picadors who thrust lances into the bull's neck before the matador emerges to wave his ass and make fancy passes with his cape before inflicting a slow and agonising death on a brave animal with a series of sword stabs. It is plain disgusting and I refused many invitations to bullfights when I lived in Spain. Those Spanish caballeros who objected to my opinion, and there were quite a few of them over the years, never had the stomach to accept when I invited them outside. You see, it was one to one, no one to help them, so the gutless cnuts weren't interested. For the record, there haven't been many, if any, Spanish world boxing champions - seems they don't like being hit back.
Pat Crerand, Scottish international, on Matt Busby his former manager at Manchester United:
Matt was the eternal optimist. In 1968 he still hoped that Glen Miller was just missing.
Matt was the eternal optimist. In 1968 he still hoped that Glen Miller was just missing.
Football - once a simple game played by semi-illiterates. Now a multi-million pound industry played by semi-illiterates.
Gordon Strachan on Eric Cantona:
If a Frenchman goes on about seagulls, trawlers and sardines, he's called a philosopher. I'd be called a short Scottish twat talking crap.
If a Frenchman goes on about seagulls, trawlers and sardines, he's called a philosopher. I'd be called a short Scottish twat talking crap.
George Best on Eric Cantona:
I'd give all the champagne I've ever drunk to have played alongside him in a big European match at Old Trafford.
I'd give all the champagne I've ever drunk to have played alongside him in a big European match at Old Trafford.
Richie Benaud - legendary Australian cricketer:
Captaincy is ninety percent luck and ten percent skill. But don't try it without that ten percent.
Captaincy is ninety percent luck and ten percent skill. But don't try it without that ten percent.
Oscar Wilde:
One should always play fairly when one has the winning hand.
One should always play fairly when one has the winning hand.
George Best on Sir Bobby Charlton:
I sent my son to one of his schools of excellence and he came back bald.
I sent my son to one of his schools of excellence and he came back bald.
Pat Williams, US basketball team manager.
We were so bad last year the cheerleaders stayed home and phoned in the cheers.
We were so bad last year the cheerleaders stayed home and phoned in the cheers.
Computer Guardian 1988:
Commodore already sponsors Tessa Sanderson, Chelsea FC and a football team Bayern Munich.
Commodore already sponsors Tessa Sanderson, Chelsea FC and a football team Bayern Munich.
Chess:
Chess is the gymnasium of the mind. - Lenin.
Chess is a foolish expedient for making idle people believe they are doing something clever, when they are only wasting their time. - GB Shaw.
Chess is the gymnasium of the mind. - Lenin.
Chess is a foolish expedient for making idle people believe they are doing something clever, when they are only wasting their time. - GB Shaw.