Football Quotes

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"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got 11 Dicks on the field." Metro Radio.

"He's pulling him off! The Spanish manager is pulling his captain off." Irish commentator George Hamilton.

"If Plan A fails, they could always revert to Plan A." Mark Lawrenson doesn't like teams changing tactics.

"We managed to wrong a few rights." Kevin Keegan.

"There's a lot of balls dropping off people." Ron Atkinson.

"The Dutch look like a huge jar of marmalade." Barry Davies.

 

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"And now we have the formalities over, we'll have the national anthems." Brian Moore.

"Nicolas Anelka left Arsenal for £23 million and they built a training ground on him." Kevin Keegan on what happens to Arsenal players who stray.

"Welcome to Bologna on Capital Gold for England versus San Marino with Tennent's Pilsner, brewed with Czechoslovakian yeast for that extra Pilsner taste and England are one down." Jonathan Pearce gets his priorities right.

".....so different from the scenes in 1872 at the cup final none of us can remember." John Motson.

"It was the game that put the Everton ship back on the road." Alan Green.

"The Uruguayans are losing no time in making a meal around the referee." Mike Ingham.

"One or two of their players aren't getting any younger." Clive Tyldesley.

"I'm sure coach Frank Rijkaard will want the Dutch to go on and score a fourth now - although obviously they'll have to score the third one first." Angus "Statto" Loughran.

 

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"Ziege hits it high for Heskey, who isn't playing." Alan Green.

"Ardiles strokes the ball like it was a part of his anatomy." Jimmy Magee.

"Well, Clive, it's all about the two Ms - movement and positioning." Ron Atkinson.

"A win tonight is the minimum City must achieve." Alan Parry setting the bar high.

"Ritchie has now scored 11 goals, exactly double the number he scored last season." Alan Green.

"He had an eternity to play that ball, but he took too long over it." Martin Tyler.

"John Arne Riise was deservedly blown up for that foul." Alan Green.

 

[Yankee_Jack]

"Ardiles strokes the ball like it was a part of his anatomy." Jimmy Magee.

Which is why Tommy took his legs off in the league cup tie against Spurs.

 

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"The Everton fans are massed in the Station End, and Lee Carsley is attacking those fans now." John Murray.

"Hagi could open a tin of beans with his left foot." Ray Clemence.

"Brazil - they're so good it's like they are running around the pitch playing with themselves." John Motson.

"England now have three fresh men, with three fresh legs." Jimmy Hill.

"I think it's that lack of width with his height". Trevor Brooking.

"Merseyside derbies usually last 90 minutes and I'm sure today's won't be any different." Trevor Brooking.

 

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Jimmy Hill: "Don't sit on the fence, Terry, what chance do you think Germany has got of getting through?"
Terry Venables: "I think it's fifty-fifty."

"Venison and Butcher are as brave as two peas in a pod." John Sillett.

"Most of the players will be wearing rubbers tonight." Gary Lineker.

"They've come out with all cylinders flying." Luther Blissett.

"Germany are probably, arguably, undisputed champions of Europe." Bryan Hamilton.

"Fiorentina start the second half attacking their fans; just the way they like things." Ray Wilkins.

"Apart from their goals, Norway wouldn't have scored." Terry Venables.

 

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"Manchester United have hit the ground running - albeit with a 3-0 defeat." Bob Wilson.

"He's not going to adhere himself to the fans." Alan Mullery.

"Batistuta gets most of his goals with the ball." Ian St John.

"There won't be a dry house in the place." Mark Lawrenson.

"All the cul-de-sacs are closed for Scotland." Joe Jordan.

"Hearts are now playing with a five-man back four." Alan McInally.

"He's like all great players - he's not a great player yet." Trevor Francis.

"Historically, the host nations do well in Euro 2000." Trevor Brooking.

 

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"Chris Waddle is off the pitch at the moment - exactly the position he's at his most menacing." Gerald Sinstadt.

"That was an inch-perfect pass to no one." Ray Wilkins.

"Not only has he shown Junior Lewis the red card but he's sent him off." Chris Kamara.

"Tempo, now there's a big word." Barry Venison.

"Let's close our eyes and see what happens." Jimmy Greaves.

"He's perfectly fit, apart from his physical fitness." Mike England.

"Every time they attacked we were memorised by them." Charlie Nicholas.

 

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"He looks like he's been playing for England all his international career." Trevor Brooking.

"You could visibly hear the strain in his voice." Mike Parry.

"The Belgians will play like their fellow Scandinavians, Denmark and Sweden." Andy Townsend.

"The first two-syllable word I learned when I was growing up was 'discretion'." Eamon Dunphy. ( Must have gone to the same school as me!)

"PSV have got a lot of pace up front. They're capable of exposing themselves." Barry Venison. (The fastest flashers in the game?)

"He's got a knock on the shin there, just above the knee." Frank Stapleton. (must have been in the same biology class as me)

"There will be a game where someone scores more than Brazil and that might be the game that they lose." Bobby Robson. (Really???)

 

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"Now they have got an extra yard of doubtness in their minds." Chris Kamara.

"He's good at that, David Beckham. He's good at kicking the ball." Jimmy Armfield. (But can he bend it?)

"He is like the English equivalent of Teddy Sheringham." Trevor Brooking. (Maybe he was talking about the Irish player Teddy O'Sheringham)

"Spurs did well in the first half, closing Tottenham down." Spurs man-marked themselves according to Robbie Earle.

"He signals to the bench with his groin." Mark Bright.

"I was in Moldova airport and I went into the duty-free shop - and there wasn't a duty-free shop." Andy Gray. (So what shop DID he go into then?)

"And now for international soccer special: Manchester United versus Southampton." David Coleman.

 

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"More football later but first let's see the goals from the Scottish Cup final." Des Lynam. (Bet the Scots just LOVED that comment!!)

"And now the goals from Carrow Road where the game finished nil-nil." Elton Welsby.

"This would cut hooliganism in half by 75 per cent." Tommy Docherty. (Looks like he also went to the same school as me)

"The match will be shown on MOTD this evening. If you don't want to know the result, look away now as we show you Tony Adams lifting the trophy for Arsenal." Steve Rider.

"Germany are a very difficult team to play..... they had eleven internationals out there today." Northern Ireland's Steve Lomas.

"Playing with wingers is more effective against European sides like Brazil than English sides like Wales." Ron Greenwood. (Might have been my geography teacher!!)

 

[CroJack]

"Playing with wingers is more effective against European sides like Brazil than English sides like Wales." Ron Greenwood.

Good luck to the English side Wales against South American side Austria tonight.

 

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"We didn't underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought." Sir Bobby Robson on England's 1990 World Cup opponents, Cameroon.

"I strongly feel that the only difference between the two teams were the goals that England scored." Scotland manager, Craig Brown.

"England should've won against Croatia because they had 800 million people in the stadium." Sky's Alan McInally reflects on a world-record attendance for an international match.

"'Wait until you come to Turkey' was the shout, with fingers being passed across throats. And that was just the kitman!" Gareth Southgate on Turkish reaction to an England victory in 2003.

"The Germans only have one player under 22 and he's 23." Kevin Keegan on England's Euro 2000 opponents.

"At last England have appointed a manager who speaks English better than the players." Brian Clough reacts to Eriksson's appointment.

 

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"I have no doubts whatsoever that Germany will thrash England and qualify easily for the World Cup. What could possibly go wrong? The English haven't beaten us in Munich for a hundred years." Former Germany player Uli Hoeness before England beat Germany 5-1 in 2001.

"He's a Spaniard who has come from Spain." Phil Neville has got Mikel Arteta's number.

"i am not sure exactly why the winter break started in Germany but I'm sure it has something to do with the weather." Owen Hargreaves knows his seasons.

"Taking me from behind is something that is not worthy behaviour of a man." Inter Milan's Nicolas Burdisso wants it up front.

"Real Madrid need only a draw to qualify for the knockout stages, but a win might not be good enough." Jim Rosenthal dashes Madrid's hopes.

"I hate being kicked when I don't have the ball." Lionel Messi certainly has a point.

 

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"We probably got on better with the likes of Holland, Belgium, Norway and Sweden some of whom are not European." Jack Charlton.

"It was very nice to enter the locker room. There was a good feeling in there and I got a good feeling from Tommy Doyle and Stephen Hunt." Reading new boy Marek Matejovsky is touched by his special welcome.

"The England fans have sat and watched for the first half - now they're giving them the clap." Graham Taylor on the dubious habits of the Three Lions supporters.

"You always lose when your opponents score and you don't." France coach Raymond Domenech is nobody's fool.

"It was much too intellectual for a footballer to have written it. The spelling and punctuation were all correct." Curtis Davies reveals how he learned of his England call-up.

"You lose some, you draw some." Jasper Carrott on being a Birmingham City fan.

 

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"If I go home and find Massimo Maccarone in bed with my wife, I'm going to ask him if he wants another blanket." Boro fan's reaction to the Italian's miraculous late winner that gave Boro a 4-3 aggregate EUFA Cup semi-final victory over Steaua Bucharest in April 2006.

"At the end of the day, he scored three goals. Other than that, I kept him pretty quiet." Reading's Michael Duberry had an easy afternoon against Fernando Torres.

"I swear that when we first walked out on to the pitch most people thought we were the band!" Robbie Fowler remembers the cream suits worn by Liverpool on FA Cup Final day in 1996.

"Arsenal are terrible. They can't even kick it over 50 yards. They have to pass it everywhere. It's a joke." Reading's Marcus Hahnemann has his tongue firmly in his cheek.

"It wasn't her wedding anniversary, it was her birthday, because there's no way I'd have got married in the football season. And it wasn't Rochdale, it was Rochdale reserves." Bill Shankly refuting stories that he had taken his wife Nessie to watch Rochdale on their wedding anniversary.

"When God was handing out brains Jonno decided to have a lie-in. He said to us recently, 'There are two suns aren't there? One here and one abroad.'" Andrew Johnson reveals Jonathan Greening's Mensa credentials.

 

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"I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona......." Mark Draper.

"Someone asked me last week if I miss the Villa. I said, 'No, I live in one.'" David Platt has no regrets after swapping Aston Villa for Bari in 1991.

"Even when they had Moore, Hurst and Peters, West Ham's average finish was about 17th, which just shows how crap the other eight of us were." Harry Redknapp.

"With the foreign players it's more difficult. Most of them don't even bother with the golf; they don't want to go racing. They don't even drink." 'Arry again.

"Dani is so good-looking I don't know whether to play him or fcuk him." .......and again.

"Matches don't come any bigger than FA Cup quarter-finals." Neil Warnock.

"I started clapping myself until I realised that I was Sunderland's manager." Peter Reid after Dennis Bergkamp scores for Arsenal.

 

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"Roy Keane is Damien, the devil incarnate off the film The Omen. He's evil. Even in training." Ryan Giggs. (Should'a seen Ducks!!)

"I rang my secretary and said, 'What time do we kick off tonight?' and she said, Every ten minutes.'" Alan Ball during his troubled year as Manchester City manager in 1996.

"It doesn't matter what happened in the game - we got the 3 points," Wayne Bridge fails to grasp the concept of the Carling Cup final.

"I remember Jimmy Adamson crowing after Burnley had beaten us that his players were in a different league. At the end of the season they were." Bob Paisley.

"Aye, Everton." Bill Shankly to a barber who asked him if he wanted anything off the top.

"If you're in the penalty area and don't know what to do with the ball, put it in the net and we'll discuss the other options later." Bob Paisley.

"Gareth Jellyman of Mansfield Town has been sent off, hope he doesn't throw a wobbly." Jeff Stelling.

"I've got more points on my licence!" Derby manager Paul Jewell on his side's meagre points total.

"He floats like a butterfly - and stings like one." Brian Clough on Trevor Brooking.

 

[Yankee_Jack]

"Roy Keane is Damien, the devil incarnate off the film The Omen. He's evil. Even in training." Ryan Giggs. (Should'a seen Ducks!!)

Too true.

 

[CroJack]