Very strange,as your reply to Borini comes through on the same thread ??Strange! They all appear for me.I'll have a word with Max to see if he knows why you can't view them.
The Joke Thread
- Thread starter Borini
- Start date
Back in my day we played outside, not online. Parents called your name, not your mobile phone. And if you didn't eat what your mother cooked, you didn't eat! There were two options for dinner: take it or leave it. Yes, I know I'm old! But I'm glad I grew up before the internet. I did so many stupid things and there's no record of it anywhere!
My friend, who's an ex pilot, sent me this by email but I had to find it on Youtube to download it. On his email he described some technical stuff he had spotted that convinced him it was authentic, as there have been the usual doubters. Well done the pilot in that case.
Borini
Key Player
It was due to your comment that I replied the way I did!
Incredible Ivor, Quite a few soiled underpants and knickers on board, methinks.
Came across this again. Pissed myself laughing.
Borini
Key Player
True story that!
Rastaman sits next to a nun on the bus, he ask her if he could have SEX with her. She says NO, I am married to GOD !! then gets off the bus in disgust.
The bus driver says "She prays every Tuesday night at the graveyard, why don't you dress up in a hooded robe go to the graveyard tell her you are God and demand SEX"
The Rastaman tries this and to his surprise the NUN said "yes but only if we have ANAL SEX as I want to keep my virginity" . They had passionate SEX, when they were done he throws off his robe and says hahaha!! I am the Rasterman from the bus, the nun throws off her robe n says "yes I know, I'm the bus Driver.
The bus driver says "She prays every Tuesday night at the graveyard, why don't you dress up in a hooded robe go to the graveyard tell her you are God and demand SEX"
The Rastaman tries this and to his surprise the NUN said "yes but only if we have ANAL SEX as I want to keep my virginity" . They had passionate SEX, when they were done he throws off his robe and says hahaha!! I am the Rasterman from the bus, the nun throws off her robe n says "yes I know, I'm the bus Driver.
Found this great routine from Jasper Carrott that had me in stitches of laughter years ago and does the same today. I was actually invited to submit some of my material to Jasper by the BBC but I could never find the time in those days because of my business and kept missing deadlines. Same thing with The Two Ronnies and Max Boyce! To rub salt in it, Jasper Carrott's show won the Light Entertainment Award that year and some writing credits on the show might have sent my life in a completely different direction. Water under the bridge now but enjoy this.
NO prizes for guessing who this is aimed at!!!!!!!!!!!!!
New element added to the Atomic Table
The densest element known to man has been found.
CORBYNIUM
A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the densest element yet known to man.
The new element has been named Corbynium.
Corbynium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 233 assistant deputyNeutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311.
These particles are held together by dense forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
The symbol for Corbynium will be RS (pronounced ‘arse’’).
Corbynium’s mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons within the Corbynium molecule, leading to the formation of “iso-dopes”.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Corbynium is formed whenever morons reach a certain density of voting Concentration.
Corbynium will appear on the Periodic Table just above the classification of “Amoeba".
Apologies - CORRECTION:-
Corbynium will appear on the Periodic Table Just BELOW the classification of “Amoeba”.
New element added to the Atomic Table
The densest element known to man has been found.
CORBYNIUM
A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the densest element yet known to man.
The new element has been named Corbynium.
Corbynium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 233 assistant deputyNeutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311.
These particles are held together by dense forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
The symbol for Corbynium will be RS (pronounced ‘arse’’).
Corbynium’s mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons within the Corbynium molecule, leading to the formation of “iso-dopes”.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Corbynium is formed whenever morons reach a certain density of voting Concentration.
Corbynium will appear on the Periodic Table just above the classification of “Amoeba".
Apologies - CORRECTION:-
Corbynium will appear on the Periodic Table Just BELOW the classification of “Amoeba”.
CroJack
Key Player
