The Joke Thread
- Thread starter Borini
- Start date
The Blobster
Prediction Champ
The problem with that is most of the new cars are huge 4×4 driven by idiots who fail to judge their vehicles width or the weight of their larger doors !
Borini
Key Player
Usually driven by small people who have no Idea where the corners of their vehicle are or how far out the bonnet goes. When the wind blows they cannot hold the doors.
The Blobster
Prediction Champ
Then there was the doorman who put liquid Viagra in his eyes as he wanted to look hard.
100% 0f the problem solved in one, with the amount of hot air that comes out of Trump sending him up there would alleviate our problem, and also warm up Mars.
Love it!! 
A Chinese guy goes into a Jewish-owned establishment to buy black bras, size 38. The Jewish store keeper, known for his skills as a businessman, says that black bras are rare and that he is finding it very difficult to buy them from his suppliers. Therefore he has to charge $50.00 for them.
The Chinese guy buys 25 pairs.
He returns a few days later and this time orders fifty.
The Jewish owner tells him that they have become even harder to get and charges him $60.00 each.
The Chinese guy returns a month later and buys the store's remaining stock of 50, and this time for $75.00 each. The Jewish owner is somewhat puzzled by the large demand for black size 38 bras and asks the Chinese guy, "...please tell me - What do you do with all these black bras?"
The Chinese guy answers: "I cut them in half and sell them as skull caps to Jewish men for $200.00 each."
...any this is why the Chinese own us!
Business is Business!
The Chinese guy buys 25 pairs.
He returns a few days later and this time orders fifty.
The Jewish owner tells him that they have become even harder to get and charges him $60.00 each.
The Chinese guy returns a month later and buys the store's remaining stock of 50, and this time for $75.00 each. The Jewish owner is somewhat puzzled by the large demand for black size 38 bras and asks the Chinese guy, "...please tell me - What do you do with all these black bras?"
The Chinese guy answers: "I cut them in half and sell them as skull caps to Jewish men for $200.00 each."
...any this is why the Chinese own us!
Business is Business!
Now THIS was a speech for the Oscar ceremonies back in the day from Paul Hogan one of my fav personalities. No false emotion, no bullshit, no politics: just some down to earth patter from a genuine guy. It's not long so take a look. Wish there were more like him.
Trump's Health Care Plan
American Medical Association has weighed in on Trump¹s health care
package:
The Allergists were in favour of scratching it, but the
Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the
neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.
Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was labouring under a
misconception, while the ophthalmologists considered the idea was
shortsighted.
Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body"!
Pediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!"
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the
Radiologists could see right through it.
Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the
Internists agreed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow.
The Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would put a whole new
face on the matter!
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists
were pissed off at the whole idea.
Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and Cardiologists
didn¹t have the heart to say no.
In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision to
the assholes in Washington.
package:
The Allergists were in favour of scratching it, but the
Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the
neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.
Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was labouring under a
misconception, while the ophthalmologists considered the idea was
shortsighted.
Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body"!
Pediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!"
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the
Radiologists could see right through it.
Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the
Internists agreed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow.
The Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would put a whole new
face on the matter!
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists
were pissed off at the whole idea.
Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and Cardiologists
didn¹t have the heart to say no.
In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision to
the assholes in Washington.
Borini
Key Player
A man runs into a police station and says to the police officer, help, there's two women outside fighting over me, the police officer says what's the matter with you two women fighting over you,that's good for you mate!
Yes he said , but the problem is the ugly one is getting the upper hand
Yes he said , but the problem is the ugly one is getting the upper hand
